Reflections

A SINGLE Focus Will Help You Attract More Clients (In More Ways Than One)

2008 is coming - do you know what you want? The Law of Attraction teaches us to focus on what we want, expect it to come to us, take the inspired actions we're led to do and it will show up. But what if we change our minds mid-stream? This article by Fabienne Fredrickson shows us why this will keep us from the success we're looking for.

"Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate." – Carl Jung

check it out here

Season of Giving - Ring Ring!

As a volunteer this year, I'm helping change lives in our community by serving as an online bell ringer. I hope you'll be able to join me in support of The Salvation Army this holiday season with a online donation to fill my Kettle.
Visit my personalized Online Red Kettle to read why I'm ringing the bell this holiday season and to make an easy, secure tax-deductible online gift.

Gifts to The Salvation Army Online Red Kettle provide Christmas for people in need and help change lives in our community year round!

Thank you in advance for sharing your time, talent, and treasure.

Warmest Holiday Wishes & Merry Christmas!
P.S. Please visit The Salvation Army at http://www.SalvationArmyUSA.org for this year's Online Red Kettle campaign and more information. Click here to visit my personal page.

Are you giving away your power?

Over the holidays we sensitive, giving souls can get overwhelmed with the holiday hoopla. Jenna Avery of Sensitive Living gives us some powerful tips and tools to maintain our harmony throughout the year, especially during the holidays. You can find the article at my website by clicking here.

Let Your Light Shine

Here's a video which will inspire you to shine your light wherever you are:

http://www.lightmovie.com/

Enjoy!

Even sensitive souls can be insensitive

During the holiday season we can get overwhelmed and even the most sensitive person can become temporarily insensitive.

Read this article from Jenna Avery, Life Coach for Sensitive Souls to find tips to get you through those times.

Have you ever wondered how it is possible to be sensitive but also sometimes thoughtless? It can feel like a contradiction. But the truth is that even sensitive souls can be insensitive from time to time.

So far, I've noticed three main reasons why this happens: 1) we get over-stimulated, 2) we make assumptions, or 3) we feel threatened or scared.

Over-stimulation and insensitivity

When we are over-stimulated, we can feel attacked by further stimulation.
For example, my clients notice that they are more likely to be upset by loud noises or their partner's behavior when they are already over-stimulated. They are then more likely to react insensitively toward the source of the extra stimulation.

Solutions:

1. Prevention. Do what you can to prevent yourself from getting over-stimulated in the first place. This skill takes practice because our culture validates busyness and because stimulation can be addictive. Learn to be smarter than your own impulse to over-stimulate yourself.

2. Course correction. As early as possible, notice when you are getting over-stimulated. Then, do something about it. Even if you just take a few deep breaths or close your eyes for a minute, you can shift your energy. Even better: go for a walk, use energy skills to release the excess energy, or call it a day.

3. Confront the situation honestly and take responsibility for yourself. Before you indulge in blowing up at the people around you, acknowledge to yourself that you are at your limit. Take some deep breaths. If you need to talk it over with those around you, let them know you are already maxed out.

You might say, "Gosh, I'm feeling maxed out right now and I'm noticing that I'm feeling upset about [fill in the blank], even though I'm aware that you're not doing it to upset me. Could you help me out by limiting that while get myself sorted out?"

First, acknowledge how you are feeling to yourself. Then, acknowledge it to the other person. And only then, make a request for support. (Notice, though, that there is no discussion about being sensitive -- it isn't necessary.)

Assumptions and insensitivity

Sensitive souls can be quick to make assumptions about the reasons for things. For example, I recently received e-mail from someone whose assessment results didn't come through to her. She wrote, "So where's the score that I was supposed to get? Apparently this test is just a front for procuring leads. Stupid me for thinking that it might be legitimate."

Ouch! She made an assumption about why or how her results might have gotten lost, without thinking through the possibilities. Instead, she chose to attack me as the source of her upset. Making a quick assumption here caused conflict.

Another example: It's easy to assume that when people don't get back to you quickly that they are angry or upset with you. I've had e-mails go missing from cherished clients who think I'm not responding to them. But when we've reconnected and cleared the air, it's obvious that it was simply a missed communication.

Sometimes people are simply busy and things slip through the cracks. Though there might be people out there who would find this disrespectful, it is also human nature to lose track of things. 

Solutions:

1. Be compassionate. Remember we are all human. Each one of us makes mistakes, things get lost, and technology fails. Have compassion as you reach out and don't give up.

2. Trust your intuition. Assumptions are usually NOT validated by our intuition. Assumptions are often fear-based responses that don't have a lot to do with reality. Tune into your intuition instead and trust that. What does the voice of trust say?

Feeling threatened or scared and insensitivity

When we feel threatened or scared, it's easy to jump into a protective stance. It's similar to being over-stimulated in that we feel attacked, so we respond in kind and attack back. We fight to protect ourselves and can say sharp, uncaring things to each other.

Solutions:

1. Slow down. When you are experiencing a conflict, try what my teacher Sonia Choquette says: "Whoever breathes the slowest, wins." Her point is that by breathing deeply and slowly into your solar-plexus chakra, you can reclaim your power, stop feeling victimized, and have a rational interaction with the source of the upset. You don't have to be insensitive to protect yourself.

2. Set clear boundaries. Remember that anger is a great sentry of boundaries. It lets us know when someone else or ourselves have crossed a boundary. Rather than rushing to offense, notice what boundary was violated and make a request or change your circumstances so that the breach doesn't happen again.

Above all, let's find ways to be kind to one another. We're all in this together.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Copyright 2007, Jennifer K. Avery

Jenna Avery, the Life Coach for Sensitive Souls, offers an original coaching program designed to guide highly sensitive souls to a deep sense of inner rightness, so they are inspired to step forward and shine. You're invited to visit her website at www.highlysensitivesouls.com to take her free online assessment, "Is Your Sensitivity Working for You?" (note from Donna Marie: the image also comes from Jenna - she does web design too!)

"Got Client Clutter?"

October is a "clear the clutter" month for many of us as we prepare for the Holidays and family visits. We clean out our closets and give to charity, straighten up our desks and get ready to settle into winter. This article by Kendall Summerhawk reminds us there's more to clearing clutter than our closets. Read on ... 

"Got Client Clutter?"

Do you have clothes in your closet that make your heart sink when you think of wearing them? Maybe they no longer fit, or the last time they were in fashion was when Pat Benetar was singing, "Hit me with your best shot!", or the person you were when you bought them isn't someone you even recognize anymore.

Well, the same thing happens with clients. Some no longer fit. Others are vintage, holdovers from a time when you were just getting started, or willing to work with anyone who would fog a mirror.

Cleaning out your "client closet" is a MUST if you want to make room for new clients who are the perfect fit for you now, and will happily pay you more.

But shedding a client is not the same thing as getting rid of a piece of clothing. This is a real, live person, with thoughts and feelings, and needs and desires that, up until now, have been yours to try and fulfill.

So what do you do when you want to cut loose but you definitely do NOT want to hurt anyone's feelings?

Here are 5 simple tips to clear out your "client closet" and make room for new, exciting clients that will feel like instant favorites!

Tip #1 Stop trying to make it all okay for everyone!

Ladies, listen up and repeat after me, "I am not responsible for my clients' life or business." Pardon me for talking tough here, but no one crowned you "she who is responsible for all", now did they?

Your job is to do an extraordinary job for your clients. When it's time to move on, your job is to still do an extraordinary job for your clients, by being loving, kind, and above all, honest!

Trying to make it all okay for your client has a positive intention, but the actions that stem from it are more smothering than truly loving.

Opt instead to take responsibility for yourself! And in doing so, you'll carve out a path of clarity and decisiveness that your soon-to-be-free clients will pick up on. 

Tip #2 Give yourself permission to let go of guilt

Feeling guilty doesn't help. In fact, I've seen it make most situations difficult, complicated, and messy. Guilt is one of those emotions that keeps us stuck. It also is very "me" focused, which is not where you really want your attention to be, is it?

Instead of feeling guilty and nagging yourself with the, "But she was there for me when I was first getting started" speech (or whatever your version of the "but..." conversation is), consider this: by doing right by yourself, you are doing right by your clients. You're setting an example of courage, boldness, and self-care by making a decision--and following through--that isn't always easy.

Take my word for it, your clients (yes, even the ones you're letting go of) will be impressed with your clear direction and sticking to what works for you.

Tip #3 Ask yourself "who wants what you have?"

Being ready with a referral when you're letting a client go feels great, and sends them on their way with a resource to take your place.

Be sure and tell them why you love referring to their new resource, and they'll quickly gain confidence in their new opportunities.

Tip #4 Don't hang on to anyone but the best

Letting go of "they're not that bad" clients can be a lot tougher then the ones that are clearly no longer a fit. Clients earn their mediocre status by being late paying you, late to appointments, slow or no referrals, not following through with assignments, or changing appointment times.

Whatever the reason, you know you're not really thrilled to work with them. They're okay, but not great. They a nice person, but the drama they bring in to your working relationship keeps them (and you) from getting the high level of results that are possible.

These are the types of clients that are taking up far more of your time and attention that you realize. Here's a quick test: think of working with them for the next year. Now think of NOT working with them again. Which feels better?

If you're instant, unedited response was to feel relief, then you know what to do, sooner, rather than later. I know it's hard but the lift you're going to feel is worth oh-so-much-more! And the wonderful new client you'll bring on board to take their place will be a delight.

Tip #5 Stay focused on your heart, what you want, and where you're going

Looking back can bring on a touch of sadness. Try looking ahead at where you're taking your business. Think of someone you are really excited about working with. By keeping your focus on what's ahead, you'll free yourself from any wistfulness that may try and pull you back.

In the end, being fully present for your clients, day in and day out, even in a completion conversation is a gift. Like finding a home for that metallic fringe jacket with the big shoulder pads, circa 1981, letting go of clients who no longer fit your business model (or your energy) creates a positive vacuum that the universal will quickly fill with perfect new clients you love as if they were old friends.

Love and brilliance,
Kendall

Small business expert and author Kendall SummerHawk is the "Horse Whisperer for Business." Kendall delivers smart, simple ways entrepreneurs can brand, package and price their services to move away from "dollars-for-hours" work...fast...and create more money, time, and freedom in their business. To learn more about her book, Brilliance Unbridled, and sign up for more FREE tips like these, visit her site at http://www.kendallsummerhawk.com

 

How to Get Your Business to Go Where You Want It to Go

This article by Molly Gordon of Authentic Promotion made me laughingly bring my business to heel. Being more of a cat person, I find her connection to the dogs’ life refreshing and new. Take a look at her five tips to getting your business to behave.

 

How to Get Your Business to Go Where You Want It to Go

Some years ago (31, but who's counting?), the TCP and I adopted three Black Labrador puppies. Thus began my education in the relationship between discipline and the good life.

TCP had owned labs before and had trained them for field trails. I had always had mutts, and my idea of training was teaching the dogs to stay off the furniture. The structured discipline that TCP doled out didn't seem like much fun for me or the puppies.

I was so wrong. The dogs thrived as disciplined practice developed and refined their natural talents. Far from cramping their style, discipline helped them thrive.

Is your business like a new puppy? Do you chase it around until you are exhausted, only to find that when you want to play ball, it wants to sleep by the fireside?

A business is like a puppy. It needs loving discipline and routine every bit as much as affectionate play and freedom. For help brining your business to heal without breaking its spirit, read Five Disciplines Your Business Needs You to Teach It, below.

 

Five Training Secrets Your Business Wants You to Know

Paper Training. (How could I resist?)

Paperwork - and today that includes email - can suffocate your business. Choose a method that you can live with and apply it consistently to keep clutter off your desk and out of your mind.

Resource: Getting Things Done, Winning the Fight with Your Desk

Heel!

When you teach your dog to heel, you link its energy with your own so you can follow an agreed-upon path. In business, heeling is a two-way street. You need to set a direction for your business to follow, and you need to discipline yourself to stay on the path as well.

Resource: Authentic Promotion

Sit and Stay!

There are times when your pre-determined path peters out, and you don't know what to do or what direction to follow. Learn the discipline of waiting, of listening, of paying attention to what you and your business need in the present moment. The best decisions make themselves.

Resource: Doing The Work of Byron Katie on Working for Yourself. 

 

Mark!

At a field trial, this command tells the dog to focus in a specific direction in preparation for retrieving a bird. It's the equivalent of taking aim. Whether you are a ready, fire, aim kind of person (like me) or someone who proceeds in a more measured manner, be sure you take the time to mark where you are headed and compare it against where you intended to go.

Resource: Psychocybernetics

 

Play

Be sure to play with your business. Give yourself a couple of hours a week for the equivalent of rolling round on the floor, playing Frisbee, or cuddling up on the couch (don't let mom see you) in front of the fireplace. That might look like reading an article you've been wanting to get, going to a coffee shop and writing out your dreams, or meeting with a friend to talk shop.

Resource: Your heart.

 

Publication and Reprint Info

Reprinted with permission from http://www.authenticpromotion.com

U.S. Library of Congress ISSN: 1530-311X
Unless otherwise attributed, all material is written and edited by Molly Gordon, MCC. Copyright (c) Shaboom Inc.(r) 2006. All rights reserved. Visit our extensive archives at www.mollygordon.com .

What Books Changed Your Life in 2007?

Last year, Andy Wibbels put forth this question and I've decided to keep it up for 2007. I've been drawn to books which call me to embrace my feminine mystique; books, whether fantasy or fact, embrace the inherent truth, power and strength of true womanhood and bring out the secret mysteries of life. For me, 2007 has been a time of New Birth and an ever-growing understanding of my truest, most authentic nature - to Love.

The Grand Experiment, An Expedition of Self-Discovery
written by Madren Campbell, Gayle Gregory, and Karen Johnson, this book has taken me on a journey to explore the stories I've accepted as my life and choose new views and visions more in keeping with creative courage.
They take the seven chakras and connect them to the six major myths and the original myth of separation from Source. It’s very interesting for me to connect body with spirit since my upbringing actually encouraged me to ignore the body and embrace only spirit as truth. The confusion begins to clear for me with their statement, “When we see our current life as a dynamic expression of the myths-in-action, we can use each experience to further understand how our beliefs determine our reality. By what we choose to believe, we make up the story of our life. As we continue to develop our awareness and understand that we can alter our beliefs, we have the ability to create a story in line with who we say we want to be." You can purchase your own copy of The Grand Experiment at Gayle's website: www.pure-possibility.org

The Radiant Being Discovery Guide ~ A self guided program for: igniting a life of joyful purpose, living in connection with your radiant essence, shining your unique gifts into the world ... and celebrating the special being you are.
I love this book. It's a little playbook (rather than workbook, for after all, life is about playful enjoyment, not burdensome work) which introduced me to the BEings - six "guides" who remind me each day to embrace my radiant self and allow my soul to sing through as I go about my Doing; Clairity, Being of Ignited Intention has helped me time and time again (or shall I say, moment to moment) to focus on what's truly real and necessary. With her help I'm becoming ever more vibrant. Vivi, Being of Vivid Vision, calls me to embrace the gift of my own intuition. Monet, Being of Mindful Movin' On, has helped me to release old "tapes" from the past and move forward through the transition phase of birth to a brighter awakening. Joy, Being of Conscious Celebration, says, "come on out and play" to my spirit ... and we dance. AnnA, Being of Aligned Action, reminds me to wait patiently for inner guidance and then to act from my highest sense of love. Angel, Being of Awakened Awareness, continues to bring me quiet peace in my center heart and a rejoicing that all is well, right now.
Vasi and Sora also introduce you to The Radiant Star model of living. "When we connect with our unique purpose and begin living in joyful connection to the energy it creates inside, we become ready to shine". Now, with Lightforce being my calling, I'm attracted to everything that embraces the light. This guide has been a catalyst for me. Interestingly enough, it hasn't always been easy, but I must say the journey is more fun and vibrant than it ever has been. There's so much in this Guide, you'll have to see it for yourself. You can find out more a www.iAmaRadiantBeing.com purchase your own copy of the Radiant Being Discovery Guide (complete with meditation CD) here.

The Lost Choice ~ A Legend of Personal Discovery by Andy Andrews
This book, along with The Travelers Gift reminded me to step up to the plate and make the choice to live my brilliance, my calling, my purpose ... whatever you name it. The Lost choice is the one not made, the indecisive, non-action which serves no one.
There've been many times in my life, day-by-day, moment by moment when I've had to choose life. This book gave me the strength to choose it more abundantly and showed me the reasons I must make the choice. You can get your own copy of The Lost Choice here .

How to Spin Gold ~ A Woman's Tale by Elizabeth Cunningham
Ooh - such a luscious book, Elizabeth take the tale of Rumplestiltskin to an entirely different place and in  doing so invites the reader to change my perception of the truth. She brings the great archetype; the Wise Woman into our lives and in the narration of this story enlightens the heart and transforms the spirit. In this book I connected with my own Wise Woman. Through this "compelling tale of a lonely woman's anguish, gradual empowerment, betrayal, and ultimate self-acceptance" I embraced my own story and triumphed into my truth. A true gift of woman's wisdom. Get your own copy here

roadSigns ~ Travel Tips for Authentic Living by Betty Healey
okay - this one stayed by my bed for a week as I read it by randomly opening to a passage for inspiration. Another, little book with a great big message (or should I say, sign?) to pay attention to what shows up in your life and take the gifts of the lessons with you along your journey. We've all heard the saying, it's not about the destination, the journey is the thing. Well, this book has given me fuel for my journey and ignited a deeper enjoyment of everyday living. You can find out more at Betty's website,
http://www.roadsigns.ca/

Law of Attraction for Everyday Living ~ here's an eBook worth the download! Full of practical tips and tools for living everyday in a blessed way, Marty Marsh brings the Law of Attraction to the ordinary reader, like myself, and gives us a simple way to understand that we do create our lives and we can have a great life each and every moment. I like the honesty Marty brings forth in this book. He doesn't promise that if we follow these simple rules our lives will magically change from where we are now to where we wish we were. Rather, he encourages us to accept responsibility for the choices we've made in the past, and the tools to empower us to different choices today to experience a brighter tomorrow. You can get your copy of Law of Attraction for Everyday Living here.

Currently on my nightstand (among others):
Marion Zimmer Bradley's Ancestors of Avalon ~ by Diana L. Paxson
I include this book on this list because Ms. Bradley's book, The Mists of Avalon, changed my life and I find enjoyment in the recreation of the old Celtic stories. I've long been fascinated with the tales of King Arthur and the Knights of Old. Now, the story of Atlantis falling and the subsequent journey of the chosen ones to other places provide a lush journey of the imagination to the primitive places in my soul. It's just fun! I'm also waiting to read the Priestess of Avalon by both Marion and Diana. (anyone think I have a Princess complex? - You're right!) You can find Ancestors of Avalon here

Well, that's my short list of books that have changed my life in 2007. I've read, and continue to read (I should've mentioned Harry Potter) so many more. I'd love to hear from you. What books have changed your life?

Lighten Your Work with these 4 Tips and Tools

Well, it's October - my favorite month of the year - yes because the air is crisper and the colors are changing in the East, but also because Halloween is coming and then Thanksgiving, then Christmas, and all the lovely holidays that make me so happy to be alive - did you notice they're "giving" holidays?

Today, I'm sharing a few web freebies I just found out about that will help you to lighten your work day. Try them out and let me know how you like them.

To manage your webmail: If you have more than one email account using more than one client (earthlink, yahoo, gmail, etc), you can use eprompter - a freeware service that not only lets you connect to your accounts directly from your desktop without opening your email client but also notifies you when you have new messages across all of your accounts. A handy little tool that can make managing your email a breeze Check them out here - they're highly recommended by the top software gurus.

Do you know what's on your PC? - whenever I have to send PC info to my computer tech I run a Belarc Advisor report and send that to him. It's a really easy way for us non-techies (okay, maybe I'm a little geeky, but it's not my forte') to gather technical info about our RAM or motherboard, etc. It also tells you the last time your computer was scanned for viruses and can help you recover lost product keys. You can find the download here.

Search and organize those photographs! - Picasa (a Google invention) is a great little tool (okay, maybe not so little ... it does take up some running room on your PC so it your space is limited, bypass this one) to help you locate and organize all those images you have floating around on your computer.
It's simple to use and works in the background so you can do other stuff while it's rounding up all of your photos. Try it out here.

Okay - 3 tips for today - the fourth - get outside and live a little!
Happy October!

What's the best way to build your business? - ask for help in a likable spot

A friend described this concept to me when I was floundering. She said, "you don't go to a hot dog vendor and ask for an ice cream cone" (okay, well maybe in NYC you can find one, but it's not the norm)

Are you trying to do everything all by yourself as you try to take your vision to the next level? Horrors! - Stop it right now.

Make a list of all those things you'd really rather not be doing. Next, make a list of those things you like to do but aren't in your "big picture" category (have you read E-Myth revisited?) and take up time you could spend developing your services and products.

For instance, if you're not a Web Designer, why are you building your own website? Find a web designer who can do it in half the time (I recommend the talented, Heather Goff at www.goffgrafix.com) Are you an accountant? Then why are you handling all of your own bookkeeping?(Check out the fabulous services of Monica Ross over at www.virtualbookkeeping.ca)

Are you a "secretary/receptionist, administrative assistant"? Then why are you scheduling your own client appointments, researching your own keywords, setting up your own teleclass systems, booking your own speaking engagements, processing autoresponders, managing your own contact database , etc.? Connect with a qualified VA, and if you are a Holistic Soul-o-Entrepreneur than you want to find a Holistic Assistant℠ (likable spot - make sense?) who knows and understands your language, is technically adept, with a metaphysical foundation, who can lighten your load and help your vision to soar.

Make a promise to yourself today to ask for help in a likeable spot. Partner with a Success Team who will help you take your business to the next level, and you'll find your creative juices flowing ever more abundantly.

Here's to shining your light!